Speak Up Lesson 2 - German

Today is the 3rd/4th playoff between Germany and Uruguay... here are some cool German phrases to throw around!

Hello = Hallo

I want beer! = Ich will Bier!

Do you want to taste my knödle? = Wollen Sie meine knödle Geschmack?

Schweinsteiger, have my babies! = Schweinsteiger, habe meine Babys!

The German team is young but very talented. I can't wait to watch them in 2014. = Die deutsche Mannschaft ist jung, aber sehr talentiert. Ich kann nicht warten, bis sie im Jahr 2014 zu sehen.

Germany is the best :) = Deutschland ist der beste:)

Ben Trovato's 2010 Quiz

What is your reaction when you hear the word Fifa?

a) No thanks, I've just eaten.

b) Governing body.

c) Dirty, rotten, thieving sons of bitches.

What do you think of when you hear the phrase "2010 Soccer World Cup"?

a) Cancer.

b) Football.

c) Lawyers.

What is the offside rule?

a) No passing in the breakdown lane.

b) Something that prevents Brazil from scoring 20 goals in each game.

c) I don't have time for stupid questions. Next.

What do you think should happen to the ref who disallowed Frank Lampard's goal against Germany?

a) Frank who?

b) He should have his eyes tested.

c) He should have his eyes gorged out.

What is the Round of 16?

a) The number of beers you order when you're out with 15 of your mates.

b) The second stage of the World Cup.

c) A bit of messing about before the real soccer begins.

Sepp Blatter is:

a) An intestinal infection.

b) The bloke in charge of Fifa.

c) The President of South Africa.

The 4th of July was the first soccer-free Sunday since June 11. How did you spend the day?

a) Visiting my mother.

b) Not drinking.

c) Woke up thinking, "Holy mother of God! No soccer? Where's my gun?".

What do you think of Jabulani?

a) It could do with extra salt.

b) It's a ball - what am I meant to think of it?

c) It's a girl's ball. Bring back the old leather ball that Bobby Charlton played with.

Dunga is:

a) A type of dolphin.

b) Brazil's coach.

c) Better than Carlos Alberta Parreira.

How best can our new stadiums be used after the World Cup?

a) Weekly craft markets.

b) Fill them with lions. And maybe some Christians.

c) Ask Sepp Blatter. He made us build the damn things.

Give your self one point for every (a) answer, two points for every (b) answer and three point for every (c) answer.

0-10. You have either been in a coma for the past month or are hopelessly gay.

11-20. You are a true-blue South African with a firm grip on reality, your wife and a beer.

12-30. You are a borderline sociopath and a good drinking partner. Keep taking your medication.

*Ben Travato is a columnist for The Sunday Times. This was published in his column, 'The Whipping Boy', on 4 July 2010.

Paul the Octopus

What kind of soccer blog would this be if we didn't mention Paul the Octopus. For those of you living in oblivion...Paul is a PSYCHIC octopus who resides at the Aquarium Sea Life Centre in Oberhausen, Germany. He has a faultless record of predicting the winners of the Germany games at the World Cup, even predicting a Serbian success over the Germans in the group stages - he’s quite the clairbuoyant :P

During a dramatic broadcast live on national news channel NTV on Tuesday, he plumped for Spain to win the semi-final showdown - much to the distress of the millions watching.

Rumour has it Paul will be making a prediction for the Netherlands - Spain WC Final as well as Germany's 3/4th playoff against Uruguay on Saturday. As soon as we hear Paul's predictions, it'll be up on the blog - and you can start betting!

Lukas Podolski

Super bleak days, Germany are out...."clap clap clap DEUTSCHLAND!" no longer :(

So in a bid farewell, our current hottie soccer jock is Germany striker Lukas Podolski.

Kalk Bay, or "That man at your table just ate a lemon... :/"

So we did the tourist thing by ourself....took the train on a sunny Sunday for a day in Kalk Bay.

And it was pretty

darn awesome.

Kalkies had a hectic queue for lunch, so we got our fish, calamari and chips from Lucky Fish and Chips. Dr Lem and Mizz Honey stood in the line, I kept the table - which really means I got to relax in the sun whilst my food was fetched for me :P

Dr Lem and Mizz Honey are rather avid tennis fans, so we caught the Wimbledon final from Cape to Cuba. They have great cocktails, and happy hour is from 5-7pm which means 2-for-1 mojitos!!!

Sat 3 July Argentina vs Germany

Princess Kiki started the day off catching her friend Dancer, wait for it, dancing at Cavendish Square. It's all Mzansi gees, so catch them Sat 10 July at 1pm, it's pretty sweet :)

Other than that, it was Deutschland all the way!!! Well, just for me since Dr Lem, the CEO and Mizz Honey all decided to go the Argentine route - much to their dismay. We've actually started worrying that our facepaints are cursed; or maybe it's just Mizz Honey's face :P

Hit the MTN Fan Tent at the V&A again, always such a jol! And caught both Germany's 4-0 slaughtering of the Argentines, as well as Spain's victory.

Hit Long St after (of course) although was super packed! Ended up at a backpackers between The Dubliner and Long Street Cafe called Carnival Court where my face got attacked by face-paint wielding Germans!

Oh, and I bought a German flag for my car....

Not so hottie...

Actually, read down right douchebag!

I'm not a super hater by nature really, but the whole let's just foul and get away with it thing really doesn't make me smile...and trust me, you want this princess smiling! Ghana played outstanding soccer (you know that game where you can't use your hands), and should be playing Netherlands in the semi-final, but alas!

So Uruguay are back in the Cape instead (staying at the Vineyard Hotel, pls feel free to go blow your vuvuzelas all Mon night!)

If you see this man, employ the "What Happens in Vegas" technique: punch him right up in his man business, and when he asks why, be like.."You know why.."

German Knödle :P

So I got invited to sundowners on Signal Hill with a German... but it turned out to be a bit on the misty side, so I convinced him to let me drive (app in Germany it's really weird for a girl to be driving a guy, hello, welcome to the 21st century!) and we ended up on Llandudno beach with some great wine.

It was also another German's birthday that night though, so I finished the night off at a house with German, Dutch and French people eating knödle and drinking wheat beer! Good times :)

From Red to Blue

Walking around the V&A in English attire was proving not too fun... but thankfully Argentina vs Mexico happened and we picked the winning team!!!

Doc Lem and her face paints gave us a chance to redeem ourselves, although the frozen yoghurt from Marcel's did make me feel a lot better!

We also met some yummy Germans.... (cue picture)

Ze Germans are too much for England

Sun 27 June, so The Blondes are hanging quite a bit since the night before was a big bash for Mizz Honey's coming of age. We crawl out into the sun at the waterfront, dressed in Red and White - Go England! Bad Plan.

We caught the game at the Hyundai Park, good vibe... especially if you're German :P England could not hold out against the Deutsch, with the game ending 4-1. Although, almost everyone concedes that the English scored that disallowed goal!